Let me first say "your not alone".......god I sound like a shrink........I will be saying "lay down on the couch" next [shudder]
By the sounds of it you had it bad
, and I know what living with the after effects is like, because of C-Diff I too live on Buscopan and Colpermin and strict gluten free diet because of the damage.
Things do improve. I am 12 months down the line since my original infection and apart from one relapse I consider myself on the mend, plenty of good advice and good people on here and if we all stand together then things will change.